Amazing!

daily revelations

1. I have taken a strange liking to 'thins' chips, rather than crinkle cut
2. I love my pj's in an unnatural way
3. I rely way too much on the internet
4. I have no self control over food and my phone
5. I get bored easily
6. My mum had some really cool clothes as a kid

A not-so boring night...



This weather makes me so happy :) I never realise how much I love it, until it comes back to this time of year again... If only I wasn't stuck indoors.

Does self expression still exist if you have restrictions?

Mental

THAT'S IT.
After HSC I am re-decorating my room

and I'm going crazy!

Amen

Fettish

Admittedly, I have a strange obsession with lip gloss.
I go through several tubs and tubes a year.
Currently, my $32 Clinique 15mL superbalm moisturizing gloss is running low and I only bought it last holidays.

I'm down to my last couple weeks worth.

I'm a little sad although I was very pleased with this one, so chances are I'll buy the same next time... this makes me happy.

I have come to the conclusion that I apply lip gloss when I'm nervous or anxious... It's weird.
I forgot my lip gloss at home this morning, and now my lips are chapped.

Never again.

Disruption

Bucket list continued...

- Swim in a fountain

- Steal a horse
- Do something illegal with Jcam

Opinions won't keep you warm at night

Wait while jealousy tears you apart
I'm sorry but I cannot help the way you are
That we do the things you can't

Just wait
can't you see you're being weak?
It's shallow and dark you know every time you speak
You're just lying through your teeth

Sometimes, days are like this and you don't agree with what you see
But I will never let the bitter things you say ever get to me

Sometimes, days are like this and you don't agree with what you see
But I will never let the bitter things you say ever get to me

We are everything you wish you were
But, I'm feeling kinda concerned
we're probably friends
But you hide from consequence

Yeah you must have a lot of spare time
To put down the words that you write
But no one cares
You should put your mind to rest

Sometimes, days are like this and you don't agree with what you see
But I will never let the bitter things you say ever get to me

Sometimes, days are like this and you don't agree with what you see
But I will never let the bitter things you say ever get to me

Get to me...
Get to me...

Sometimes, days are like this and you don't agree with what you see
But I will never let the bitter things you say ever get to me

Sometimes, days are like this and you don't agree with what you see
But I will never let the bitter things you say ever get to me

This reminds me of you
So, have a good life

This song gets me pumped.

Told

I really hate making decisions, but only the decisions that count. Mainly because; I'm indecisive and afraid of judgment.

I just want someone to make up my mind for me.
Save me the trouble.

Ironically enough, I challenge people who tell me what to do.

I need serious help.

future

And I'll be seeing you in less than a year (yayyy!)

here's to us

Your immaturity and absolute lack of intelligence reinforces my better judgment.

Thank you.

discernment.

admit one.

UAC preferences complete and holy shit I'm gettin' scared.

big

It's alright
It's worth it
These little pieces I can't seem to align
I need change
And I just don't feel I was born to walk in a line

I've been waiting to take my chances
I can't live for the lie
I'll keep chasing
Cause I can feel something's gonna change

The faster that we go round
The tighter I'm holding
I know that we fall down

You and I are the same thing
Simple yet we complicate the design
It's working but I just feel there's a faster way to arrive

I can taste it
And I want answers
I can't live for the lie
I'll keep chasing
Cause I can feel something's gonna change

I have concluded that if i had a top 20 song list, these would be two of them...

Dead Letter Circus

Are we closer?

reinstated.

sole means

For the next month, I will reluctantly be drastically reducing my time blogging due to the H.S.C (thanks). Unfortunately, I am devo by this because this is really my sole means of virtual communication. MSN, goodbye, facebook, Au revoir, mobile, you're already effed.

Blogging is my way of sharing to the world who I was, am and want to be. It keeps me sane. It helps me try and make sense of my headspace... whatever happens up there...

Something else that is consuming my thoughts at this current point in time, is a male. And although i've already concluded that in no way do I find you physically attractive, you are a perpetual womanizer, and you've fucked me over once.... I'm not quite sure how to break it to you?
I guess it's like, for the time that i THOUGHT I knew what I wanted (one week), I led you on... and now you've got the wrong idea stuck in your head...
And although I told you today that i don't really trust you, you still continue to pursue something more...

How the hell do I break it to you without looking like a heartless bitch who led you on and then just took it all away? HOW?!

Well, whatever the outcome, "US" is never going to happen.

My mood swings are unbelievable. I swear it was about 4 posts ago that I was professing my love.
Thanks Jcam for knocking some sense into me, reminding me of the person I never want to become and being so considerate.

I guess in time, I can look back on this blog and re-live EVERY experience and emotion over again, because they fluctuate uncontrollably.

And that, my friends, is my life.

It lies in the eye

Let's all aim for self confidence, because it's the key to perfection.

Along with a mammoth smile and 'I don't give a fuck' attitude

l i f e.

I actually don't want to find, or experience any sort of direction in my life.

I want to live, and let live.


Whatever that means

Birds of Tokyo

We made plans to kiss the sun at night
Hopeless dreamers, hopeless types
Shedding skin you show your beauty scars
Don't forget me or who you are

You know this don't feel right
Who knows what we feel?

I just met you I can read your thoughts
What they tell me is what I want
I'll keep you guessing keep you wanting more
'Cos where we're going no one knows

You know this don't feel right
Who knows this could feel right

I just met you, I swear I read your thoughts
So don't forget me or what you want

Light up the stage, make your move, give me something
So I can dance in your light and to your rhythm

Soon it unfolds who we are in this masquerade of stars
Tear off the mask, the face you hide is what I'm missing

We made plans to kiss the sun at night
Hopeless dreamers, hopeless types
One was turning, one was standing still
I won't forget what was promised here

You know this don't feel right
Who knows what we feel?

engulfed by letters, numbers, words, phrases

Never before in my life have I experienced such confusion.
I would love to be Harry Potter right about now, as lame as that might sound.

I would magically make myself smarter and with an 'abra cadabra' make myself a personalised uni course. Whatever I want.


It's preference time
and i'm feeling so

L O S T

Completely spaced out.
with NO CLUE.

lol

My internal conflict must be quite amusing to readers.

That's because it is.

It's petty and lame, and my entire thoughts are just spat out onto a blank page, so to speak.

My deliberations are really obvious.. I answer my own questions, perhaps with more questions, only to be answered by a nothingness?

Cause that makes sense, right?

I'm insane.

R e a l

You have some weird grip over me.
You know how to make all the bad stuff go away, and we can continue acting like nothing has ever happened. We just had our first fight, and oddly enough, it made me more curious about you. What makes you tick, what you like, what you dislike, what you're passionate about, what you think of me?
These questions are a result of what just happened. You flirt, I flirt, We fearlessly flirt with each other.

Am I supposed to read into this? Or am I falling into my old traps again?

I think I'll just see where this goes, even though the potential is looking rather bleak. But you know what, you only live once.

I'm gonna fight who i want, like who i want, kiss who i want and swear at whoever the fuck I want.
And what is life without a few bumps here and there... that would just be boring...
easier, yes, but it would suck ass.


Love and lust are just some of those bumps along the way.


Just sit back, drink up and enjoy the long ride.

Peace

YOU'RE BEING THE ASS, AND I APOLOGISE?


HELLO YOU!

You've really got me.

You've got this charm.
This crooked smile, hair flick
The way you bite your lip.

I hate it!
But I want you to keep doing it.

You've got the softest hands.
The place where mine fit perfectly.
But mine aren't the only ones that fit there.

I hate it!
But i just want to hold your hand and never let go.

Your touch gives me shivers.
I just want to hug you.
But so do other girls.

I hate it. But at the same time, It makes me love you even more.

I crave your attention, hoping that one day you'll make me yours.
But at the same time, I'm not entirely sure.

Because I don't want to be another number to you... And it irks me that I know I will be, yet I still want to pursue something!

If I do, I will go against everything I have stood for.. or stood against...

So, dearest,
Are you worth the risk?


I guess I'll find out for myself...

Good luck to me

"apparently"

Imitation is the highest form of flattery.

Spring nights have a certain feeling to them,
a buzz,
not too hot,
not too cold.

But a feeling that the night is not a place to fear,
it's a place of refuge

A spring night, to me, feels like Christmas morning.

And I'm not sure why,
but i love it

The shits.

Okay, seriously blog
Why are you being such an ass?

My patience is wearing thin, and I'm really not that great with technology.

So please, before I launch this desktop computer out the window, fix yourself
Or God, if you are good with this shit, a little help per favore?

Many thanks and Amen

Washington

because life's too short to worry about the petty things. Live as you are. Live without regrets, because only then can it be called LIFE

Today

To: Day




I will seize you





From: Ashleigh

power

I've learnt to pick myself up again.
I fall too easily, but before I fall even deeper, I look at situations realistically.


It's the way to be.

Only cause I'm cool like that...

I think I like this... wrist?

I'm learning to appreciate the small things in life for what they are.
You never really understand something until you are at that point in your life.

I am here now,

And while people may mock, tease, laugh etc, they will be there one day.
And then they will learn to understand it
and appreciate it.


It's a last.

it's a quirk.

There are so many lists that I need to write out.
A list of bands that i like
A list of song lyrics that i need to match names to
A list of movies i want to watch after HSC
A list of items i want to buy
A list of books that I want to read

great

I have a fear of disappointing others.

Maybe I was being a little melodramatic, but for goodness sake

Please!

Thank HELLO I am nothing like you.

love and light

Gotta stay positive, for sure

rawr

You bring out my inner OI.

I hate that we always fight.