I wanna be everything but normal...
-A-
-A-
Friday, January 28, 2011
Sunday, January 23, 2011
Shrug it off... You're a space ranger!
Sometimes you have to forget what you want,
to remember what you deserve.
-A-
The and.
You run away
and yet I chase.
You are silent
and yet I persist.
You are blunt
and yet I question.
You are recurring
and yet I never learn.
I say this is the end
and yet I know it's just the beginning.
and yet I chase.
You are silent
and yet I persist.
You are blunt
and yet I question.
You are recurring
and yet I never learn.
I say this is the end
and yet I know it's just the beginning.
-A-
Tuesday, January 18, 2011
Chapter 27... Heart, Ol' Heart
My heart screams and I am silent as you walk through my mind. You're pacing, you're upset.
My mouth moves and I am silent as I watch you fall. You're hurt, you're crying.
My feet move and I am still as I watch you in pain.
I'm alone.
No friends but a room full of red doors, starkly contrasting the white setting and sea of black marble floor.
The room's getting smaller.
Door one- A great dream
Locked.
Door two- A great revelation
Locked.
Door three- A great escape
Locked.
Door four- A great life
Locked.
Door five- A great wealth
Locked.
Door six- A great nothingness
Locked.
Door seven- A great reality
Open.
My heart races, my steps slow and precise. The echo of my shoes ringing for what seems like forever.
You're not real.
I can see you. I can touch you. I can smell you. But I can never have you.
I'm trapped. Tangled in a web of unattainability. A vicious vine of delusion controlled by my mind, empowered by your actions.
My final chapter is you.
I'm cutting loose.
I'm letting go.
And you can find me behind door four.
Exeunt.
My mouth moves and I am silent as I watch you fall. You're hurt, you're crying.
My feet move and I am still as I watch you in pain.
I'm alone.
No friends but a room full of red doors, starkly contrasting the white setting and sea of black marble floor.
The room's getting smaller.
Door one- A great dream
Locked.
Door two- A great revelation
Locked.
Door three- A great escape
Locked.
Door four- A great life
Locked.
Door five- A great wealth
Locked.
Door six- A great nothingness
Locked.
Door seven- A great reality
Open.
My heart races, my steps slow and precise. The echo of my shoes ringing for what seems like forever.
You're not real.
I can see you. I can touch you. I can smell you. But I can never have you.
I'm trapped. Tangled in a web of unattainability. A vicious vine of delusion controlled by my mind, empowered by your actions.
My final chapter is you.
I'm cutting loose.
I'm letting go.
And you can find me behind door four.
Exeunt.
-A-
Rejection; fates way of saying 'there's something better!'
A note to all those sad suckers who are afraid of disappointment. Pick yo' asses off the floor, get up, move on and try harder. It's easier said than done, but don't just sit there feeling sorry for yourself, preaching to others "Don't have any expectations, that way you'll never get let down".
What are you really afraid of...
Disappointment...?
Or hard work...?
What are you really afraid of...
Disappointment...?
Or hard work...?
-A-
Monday, January 17, 2011
existentialism
Begin with a question. A question of why?
Requiring a significant amount of justification of proof or logic reasoning.
Because.
Why must we be so self assured?
Why do we need to know who we are?
Is it because uncertainty is a sign of weakness?
Or that it will create a disrupted and confused mass of individuals?
All looking, all searching.
For themselves; who they are, who they want to be.
Maybe the answer to these questions is not so straightforward. Maybe the answer to this question is a really, really extended metaphor of life; the answer to self discovery.
Life is self discovery.
New friends, old friends, foes, girlfriends, boyfriends, acquaintances, likes, dislikes, memories, victories, losses, journeys, inspiration.
Everything in life shapes who we are.
So if we don't find ourselves, we find ourselves to be undefined and completely undefinable.
Requiring a significant amount of justification of proof or logic reasoning.
Because.
Why must we be so self assured?
Why do we need to know who we are?
Is it because uncertainty is a sign of weakness?
Or that it will create a disrupted and confused mass of individuals?
All looking, all searching.
For themselves; who they are, who they want to be.
Maybe the answer to these questions is not so straightforward. Maybe the answer to this question is a really, really extended metaphor of life; the answer to self discovery.
Life is self discovery.
New friends, old friends, foes, girlfriends, boyfriends, acquaintances, likes, dislikes, memories, victories, losses, journeys, inspiration.
Everything in life shapes who we are.
So if we don't find ourselves, we find ourselves to be undefined and completely undefinable.
My name is Ashleigh, and that's all I'm really certain.
-A-
-A-
Saturday, January 15, 2011
unexpected inspiration; little pieces of nothing that mean something
Learning to love yourself before you can truly love anyone else. The key to avoiding jealousies, hatred, heartache. The power to avoid war and overcome the impossible.
I love me.
And for now, that's all I need.
I love me.
And for now, that's all I need.
-A-
Sunday, January 9, 2011
Tuesday, January 4, 2011
I open my eyes and beams come out.
Dear twenty-eleven,
Firstly, give twenty-ten a huge thanks from me.
This is the year I want to change completely. I don't want to be me anymore... not that I've ever been sure who I really am. I just want to emphasise all the things I love, that make me happy, that make me laugh and on occasion make me cry. I'm hoping that this will be the year that I discover the person I really want to be, materialistic, completely naturalistic, narcissistic, artistic or all of the above and more. Perhaps this will be the year I discover love's existence in someone new.
New; there's something about the word that makes you want to try harder. It almost makes perfection attainable. Twenty-eleven, you will be my year of dreams. More so, you will be the year my dreams come true because I will find the power to work my bum off and do great things.
I will make new friends. I will keep the old ones. I will find my true friends. And I will be a better friend.
You're the year I learn to drive. I'll get my P's.
You're the year I learn French. I'll practice.
You're the year I get another job. I'll save.
You're the year I argue. I'll win.
You're the year I forget. I'll move on.
Twenty-eleven, you're one more year I go looking for myself, making this self discovery shenanigan a little more difficult. You'll be a bitch, but challenge accepted.
Don't hold back, because I sure as hell am not.
Firstly, give twenty-ten a huge thanks from me.
This is the year I want to change completely. I don't want to be me anymore... not that I've ever been sure who I really am. I just want to emphasise all the things I love, that make me happy, that make me laugh and on occasion make me cry. I'm hoping that this will be the year that I discover the person I really want to be, materialistic, completely naturalistic, narcissistic, artistic or all of the above and more. Perhaps this will be the year I discover love's existence in someone new.
New; there's something about the word that makes you want to try harder. It almost makes perfection attainable. Twenty-eleven, you will be my year of dreams. More so, you will be the year my dreams come true because I will find the power to work my bum off and do great things.
I will make new friends. I will keep the old ones. I will find my true friends. And I will be a better friend.
You're the year I learn to drive. I'll get my P's.
You're the year I learn French. I'll practice.
You're the year I get another job. I'll save.
You're the year I argue. I'll win.
You're the year I forget. I'll move on.
Twenty-eleven, you're one more year I go looking for myself, making this self discovery shenanigan a little more difficult. You'll be a bitch, but challenge accepted.
Don't hold back, because I sure as hell am not.
-A-
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