and the academy award goes to...

Me :) So i guess it's time for my thankyou speech...
Firstly, a general thanks to everyone who had to put up with my constant tears and complaining... it really wasn't easy! trust me !

So, in no particular order...
Thank you Rosemaree...and congratulations too. But mostly thank you for supporting me and enduring long phone calls. You're the best cugina ever, yay!

Thank you Jamie. You have shed much wisdom! And also to Jenny, for THINKING of spitting in her hair, it's the thought that really counts :) You're the best. Jamie, thanks for listening to me have extreme bitch sessions 24/7 too!

Thank you Jess. and congratulations are also in order for you and le BOYFRIEND! hells yeah ;) you are such a beautiful person, both inside and out. Thanks for always being there for me, good times, bad times and everything in between!

Thank you Marie. Well, you are just amazing! I really truly appreciate everything you have done for me! you're the coolest, funniest bad ass around! and i feel safe around you :) thanks for not letting anyone get to me when things seemed hopeless. And thanks for the great advice... sneaky ways to piss them right off!

Thank you Dom. One of my MANY avid readers (ha!). You're just cool, cause you are one of few who read my blog, and you're my cousin haha. Plus i just love hearing you call them bitches... I'm free for hangman anytime ;)

Thankyou Rosey. You truly are one in a million! I know that no matter what happens, we will always remain friends! I have had soooo many funny times with you and look forward to many more. YOu have been a great comfort to me and i love you oh so very much!

Thank you Tash. Hunny, you be the beri awesome friend too. haha. You are truly a GEM! i would not have made it through this without you!!! you're the best :D I know that whenever i need good advice, you're there to offer me some. I value your friendship dearly. You be the beri cool hunny!

Thank you Zoia. GOD BLESS YOUR COTTONS bella! haha. i just plain love you zoi zoi! You've taught me not to care about those people... and i don't! you crack me up :) love you Zola!! haha

and thank you Annabelle... even though i haven't kept you as up to date as possible, you're just the coolest asian ever :) love you!!!

well, i should have been kicked off the stage by now...
but after this incident, which is now OVER, i have learnt to appreciate what i have in life.
I will live life with no regrets, and i would regret not leaving them while i had the chance.

They do say that things happen for a reason... this was just meant to be.
And i feel really lucky to have you all a part of my life. And i hope it stays that way, because you all DO play such an amazing role, to make each day more spectacular than the last.

Yours lucky in love,
the inexperienced blogger.
ash
x

nom nom nom

As i have mentioned previously in a blog, a quote which goes as so...

"The thermometer for success, is the malcontent of others"
in Lay terms... i win, you lose. Quite an easily translatable message if you ask me.

yours totally,
the inexperienced blogger
ash
x

status update

*sigh*

when will you learn.
too scared to scorn you pride?

perhaps you should get off your pedistool... or would you prefer me to push you off?



yours persistently,
the inexperienced blogger.
ash
x

how foolish for you to think your fool proof plan could fool me

you're a fool.


Face it. your plan failed.
epically if you don't mind me saying.
your plan failed epically.
It was a huge epic fail.
A fail of a plan
A plan, which failed.
a failed plan
An epically failing plan which epically failed.



yours epically,
the inexperienced blogger
ash
x

things need to get worse, before they get better

I really really really hope, that my next blog is about a NEW friendship...
they DO say that when one door closes, another door opens. I suppose this door has been closed for a while, and i have been looking for the key to open the next... But i think i've found the key... it was hidden real good. Deep, deep down.

Yours wonderfully,
the inexperienced blogger
ash
x

an entire blog consumed by tales of toxic friendships

they say when life gives you lemons, make lemonade.
but when life gives ME lemons, i will simply throw them at people.

Thankyou life, for planting a lemon tree in my backyard which will provide an abundance of lemons to throw :)

Yours fruitfully,
the inexperienced blogger,
ash
x

a little thing called reality.

we all live in it (hopefully)
we all want to escape it... but no matter how hard we try, it's always there. staring you in the face screaming 'wake up sunshine! it's not gonna last forever!'
a bit of a pain in the arse, just quietly.

and so this 'reality' continues, like a shaddow, constantly telling you to snap out of your dream world... in fact, to just stop dreaming all together. Because no matter how real it feels... its not reality.

Always in the back of your mind, telling you to expect the worst. And so i do.
because at least reality is real, a wake up call.
Reality makes people stronger, a rude shock some might say.

And so this 'reality' continues.

the inexperienced blogger
ash
x

a blog a day keeps the bad feelings away

temporarily anyways... but none the less, blogging is still extremely refreshing.
So after a little retail therapy, everything is potentally back to "normal". maybe, although i'm not really sure what normal is anymore. i thought i did, but i was wrong. I imagined that it was normal... normal was this fictional place in my head. an oasis. What i long for.
i no longer no what normal is... a bizzare place.
A place of conformity, where you have to look, think, ac and basically BE like everyone else.
i am an individual god dammit. and i will not bow down to you and your ways. Maybe, just maybe, i am the only person who does not aspire to be like you... that's a change isn't it!

and so what if you all shun me, treat me like an outsider, or the insider. if anyone, i am the only person that you people should be able to trust. Not who you THINK you should trust, or who you HAVE to trust, or who people WANT you to trust. But i am loyal.

They're not entirely to blame. They are simple the spawn.
brainwashed probably...
but who knows? i certainly don't!

Don't worry, i'm sure my next blog will be a tad less morbid and hell of a lot more up upbeat!!! i bloody well hope so!

Until then
the inexerienced blogger
ash

x

and then it will finally hit you! oh, wait, that was my FIST!

and so once again, my friendship drama's continue. Beyond the point of no return really.
So bad that i feel like crying sometimes. and to all my readers the whole ONE of them), i am nt an emo ... not that i have anything against emo's, cause i totally support them... off track ut anyways...
i am sick of this predicament! i know it might sound corny, but i wish things were the way it used to be... where boys still had cooties, and heels were unnecessay, and we used to laugh at other people who fought.
we're as good as they are.

so just the other night i was browsing through my facebook photos, as you do, and stopped at our old group photo... we looked so happy :(
i sound so cliche` hehe

but now, things are bad... real bad.
the type of bad where your "best friend" doesn't deliver news to you FIRST. the kind of bad where the only way you know what's going on is if you overhear it. the kind of bad where i'd rather hang out in the library by myself. (bridget jones' diary scene is appropriate here... minus the alcohol. i am neither an emo, nor an alcoholic)

So it seems that i haven't really blogged about anything of real significance lately...

But then again, when are any of my blogs significant? that's what makes them special... their lack of originality ... that's what i keep telling myself anyways

well, not much has happened so far, school i suppose. Same old, Same old.
Home life... much the same.
friends... tba
love life... non-existent
seems everything is the way it should be :)

There's something i do ALL the time, which i need to stop doing because it's really frustrating.
no, not eating... HA! that'll be the day
but in fact, i have a habit of looking too far into the future, without seeing the small things infront. I'm sure i'm not that special.... everyone does it without even knowing

For example, my aunty and myself are planning a trip to Europe next year. Here i am cheering on the inside, thinking of the incredible shopping opportunities, practically writing a list of clothes that i need to buy. When i still have over 7 months of school, including daily homework, asessments and the big HSC. grrr. i get all excited for nothing.

Feel like a bit of retail therapy...

love, the inexperienced blogger
ash
x

To Dom, the puncher of all that's holey

intentionally spelt as such :)
I'm not too sure what exactly you want me to write :P but i suppose something along the lines of how amazingly awesome you are? everyone always likes to hear that hehe

It seems that you have misplaced your hole puncher... and even though the joke is a few days old.. i really liked it, hence why i titled the blog so :)

so yeah... love you love you love you

the inexperienced blogger (copyrighted) LOL
ash
x