roids.

let the sun illuminate the words that you cannot find.

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.and no, i'm not talking about steroids.

(wrong roids you sick bastard)

Nostalgia. words by ashleigh

It ended like every other day. Schoolwork while listening to a bit of music.
I found myself becoming quite reflective on the past 6 or so years of my schooling life, and let me tell you, i was almost in tears. To be completely honest, i forget most of my junior years form years 7 to 10. But he last two years are clear as day.
I'm not gonna lie and say that they have been the easiest years of my life, (although they are yet to be complete), but they are the most memorable. I realise that i still come home from school everyday complaining about the schoolwork or friendship drama's, but in the big scheme of things, they are insignificant. The fact of the matter is, i love my school. You may be thinking to yourself, it is JUST a school. Well, to you maybe that's all it is, but to me, it is where my 'first's' happened.

My first crush
My first humiliations
My first successes
My first failures
My first fights
My first detention
My first true friendships.

For crying out loud, i became a WOMAN at the very school!
Although some of these 'firsts' are best forgotten, they are and always will be remembered and a part of my schooling experiences.

I find it almost unimaginable how fast paced and quickly this year in particular has gone. Not too long ago i remember the year 12's leaving the school, with my grade marking the guard of honor. In a few short months this will be us taking our last steps in our school.
The place where we have spent the last 7 years of our lives. Monday to Friday. 8am til 3.10pm.

So help me God when i leave the school.
I think i will be an emotional wreck.

So kiddies, the moral of the story is; Do not, i repeat, DO NOT take your schooling life for granted, because you will regret it. I sound like an old hag, but if you are fortunate enough to have been taught at a school like mine, you will want to remember it for what it is.

The best years of your life
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Yours sentimentally,
the inexperienced blogger
ash
x

Dear brain, heart, and other vital organs,
if you can hear me, listen closely.
Please please please forget him.
thankyou
ashleigh

Well, since i haven't blogged in a while (which is unnatural of me), i will use what little time i have effectively. I am going to whinge... brace yourselves...

Okay, so I'm thinking that guys have their own version of PMS, because frankly, they are fucking moody. One minute it's; la di daaa, you are so funny ashleigh, let us talk all night on facebook and message each other, and visit you at work. And the next just one worded responses.
But then the next day it's back to our normal verbal jousting.
fuck you! why are you so beautiful?! i so badly want to punch you! But god damn you and your beautiful smile!

Next in line, my favourite word; P A R T Y
two eighteenths, quite the eventful night.
that is all.

and finally, to conclude, my world famous 'i had to work 12 hours today' whinge.
well, yeah... i kinda did have to work 12 hours today.
SYMPATHISE!
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yours whinging and whining,
the inexperienced blogger
ash
x

I am good at one thing, and one thing only.

Kidding myself.

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I always make up these little scenario's in my mind. Perfect.

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But Unrealistic.

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I do this many times over. Thinking of the possibilities, what could be, should be

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But isn't

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It's either a girl thing, or an Ashleigh thing. Becuase whenever i THINK things are going good, then... i don't know?

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Nothing,

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I am good at falling for you. But not very good at coping with the reality of it.

I will no longer hope or expect anything because it ends one way for me.

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Badly.

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You make me so happy.

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the inexperienced blogger

ash

x

F.O.L

I have invented, well actually "modified" a pre-existing acronym known as FML. For all those people with lives and are unaware of this jargin, it means Fuck My Life.

I have cleverly changed this to read the plural.

Fuck Our Lives.

It could only have taken a genius to work it out, but yes.

Here is my story...

I arrive home from school, as you do, and find my phone going bezzerk on my bench. Curiously, i checked my phone to find the following message...

So i'm having an awesome day.

Exams are finished and i can sorta relax.

I giddily get into the drivers seat of my car,

and there's a fucking parking fine on the window.

Fml.

How is his fair? REALLY. She was ONLY parked there for eight hours! give her a breakkkkkk!

Anyways, so i chose the picture above for a particular reason. A reason which i will mention now. Karma.

No, i am not using this picture to be vindictive, because what kind of punishment is it? really!

I chose this picture because this is what i would imagine Karma would look like... that is of course if Karma was a person. But she looks incredible.

She looks dangerous, like Karma is...

I for one believe FULLY in Karma.

It will turn on you and bite you in the ass. Note to all; DO NOT, i repeat, DO NOT ever wish for someone to get a giant pimple in the middle of their forehead, because you will either get one on your chin, or become ill.

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yours with bad karma,.

the inexperienced blogger,

ash

x

Death by scone

You may be thinking to yourself, death by scone? And i totally understand why you would be thinking this to yourself. But, this story has a principle to it, and i would advise many to listen intently to the subtle moral.
If you are not aware, i work in a bakery. And at this bakery, we make scones.
One particular customer, lets be nice and call her bitch face, decided to have a hissy fit about a scone.
Firstly, it was the shape. It wasn't perfect. According to her, it didn't look right. but it COULDN'T have been the fact that all the scones are joined together, OH NO, it just wasn't adequate for bitch face. This was... tolerable to say the least, i've had worse complaints.
So being the kind person i am, i swapped the god damn scone for her.
After sulking of, as bitch faces do, she shortly returned. Clearly me suffering once wasn't satisfying enough. Greedy Bastard.
THIS time, the scone wasn't cooked properly. it was "raw". A customer who had been at the store for... 2-3 minutes, apparently knew more than I, who has been working there for three years. But oh no... COINCIDENTALLY, the 1 scone of the 24 that had already been sold was raw.
I think not.
And i have taken this to heart because of two reasons.
ONE. do people go out of their way to piss you off? REALLY. WHY THE FUCK WOULD YOU CARE WHAT THE SCONE LOOKS LIKE. you're just going to eat it anyway! And NO ONE else complained about the scones. What makes you so god damn special? They have been made the same for 365 days!
TWO. if the scones aren't right, don't whinge to me! Does it look like i know how to make a scone? NO! i don't make... i just sell the bread.



yours scone-ly,
the inexperienced blogger
ash
x

an inexperienced opinion

I've decided.
yes, my mind has been made up. I'm not sure what my mind is doing at the moment, but i'm 88.45% sure. Not sure if i'm saying this as the fully conscious inexperienced blogger, or the sleep deprived and socially thirsty inexperienced blogger. Either way, the decision is coming from SOMEWHERE and that's got to account for something.
From this point forward, i would hereby like to add an additional feature to my blog. I'm not too sure if there's a specific word for it, but i will call it... 'an inexperienced opinion'. I will talk about relevant topics and not my own personal failures or conquers. More failures than conquers, but that's another story for another day.
Not sure why this post was necessary, seeing that i could have done this anyway, BUT forgive a girl for wanting to make up a fancy name.
Unfortunately, i am no longer a people pleaser (virtually anyways) so these topics may not be liked by all.

AN INEXPERIENCED OPINION:
Virginity.


Word on the street is that virginity is going as out of fashion as flare jeans. For me, and me personally, it's a big deal. I would like my virginity as firmly attached as possible thank you very much. I don't look down on non-virgins and i certainly don't judge them. Call me old fashioned, but IT'S A BIG DEAL! Go back to the days where the birds and bees were just harmless animals.

A tip for all girls;
if you are 16 or under, and you say that you are 'ready', chances are, YOU'RE NOT!
There are serious ramifications! And i know I'm going all motherly on you, but i just DO NOT support the idea of girls selling themselves short. Girls, you don't have to grow up too quickly. Stay young and enjoy each day, act your age and be yourselves.

Yours rant-fully
the inexperienced blogger
ash
x

They say it's better to have love and to lost, than to have never loved at all. I might think otherwise. By loving, you are opening yourself up to so many opportunities... you put your whole entire heart and soul out on the line. uncovered and vulnerable. So do you enter into this 'love' (so to speak) knowing that it will be only a temporary fixation? Here's where i'm at. I am nothing but aware of your past, yet i so desire to be blind to your faults. I know that even the slightest glimpse of hope will generally end badly. That's what happened last time, and the time before that, and the time before that. Who's to say it won't happen this time again? nobody. So it probably will happen. again.
With this in mind... will this be ANOTHER temporary fixation? or are you serious this time?

But does this mean that i'm close minded? well, no.
I guess i'm just not really sure anymore.

hmmm. i began writing this blog knowing which direction i was heading, but now i have no idea to be quite frank.

oh well.

yours in another world,
the inexperienced blogger
ash
x

How mutable our feelings, and how strange is the clinging love we have of life even in the excess of misery.

hard.



No, i'm not talking about the Rhianna song. I'm referring to decisions. Life is just a million tiny decision pieced together to form our life.
These decisions determine our happiness. They determine what we eat, what we wear, who we are friends with, our safety, whether we miss the train or the bus.
everyday

decision
after
decision
after
decision

Even contained within the earliest forms of literature
to be? or not to be?

life or death situations people!
one minor decision could be detrimental.
minor decision.
major consequences.


yours indecisively
the inexperienced blogger
ash
x

sometimes i think...

yes, i think. Sometimes it can be dangerous. But majority of the time it's half relevant.
Sometimes i think i'm a bitch. (and i realise everyone has the odd 5 days every month), but i think i am one.

You see, it's complicated.

i thought i liked you.
we went out.
we talked.
but i don't like you.

and now you like me.
and i still don't like you.
and so, i'm a bitch


and then there's this other one.
who i have blogged about previously.
who I will never get over.
well, i guess i'm still not over him either.

then there's another one.
you said you liked me.
but unlike the first one, i have never liked you.
it's impossible for me to like you.


I'm odd.
I'm going to say this, and i think i speak on behalf of much of the female population, but we all love attention from guys.
and we get greedy.
one person liking us is never enough. But when they wish to pursue this further. We run away like a little bitch.
well, i do anyway

I am writing this with honest intentions.
This is what i am like
This is who i am.

and it needs to stop because sooner or later someone will get hurt!

yours thoughtfully
the inexperienced blogger
ash
x