party like a f r e a k

(I'd tap that)

(we are FIERCE)

(le three amigo's)

(myself and the always beautiful Roseanne)

(only cause i'm cool like that)

(the A.Biebz herself, and yours truly)



the inexperienced blogger
ash
x

I did it




.

happy coincidence

A recent twist of fate, has left me with a full bag of lemons at my doorstep.
This has taken the proverb of "when life give's you lemons..." to a whole new level
Do i take my own advice... throw them at people?

I think yes.


It's a sign.


Thank you karma... i don't understand why people think you're such a bitch

try and stop me now

Oh how sweet success tastes. Like a creamy soft serve, topped deliciously with the most perfect cherry. How do you like THEM apples?
So i'm kind of loving the fact that you aren't getting what you want, WHEN you want it.
I think you have issues. No, really... i'm pretty sure you should go talk to a psychologist and get that shit checked out. You have a mental disorder.
Symptoms consist of:
a) Power trip
b) insecurity
c) hypocrisy
d) feelings that you are king shit
e) referring to others as "worthless pieces of shit' with which they 'hope you end up alone'.

Which is quite odd actually, considering that umm, YOU broke up with HIM... used to complain to me that he wants you back so badly. Bad news sweetie pie. He has seen your true colours.
Along with half the school populations. (ouch, that's gotta hurt)

Who are you to tell someone that they are worthless?
Who are you to tell someone that they will end up alone?

How can you live with yourself SAYING these things to others without provocation?
Oh wait, there WAS provocation...
The fact that your ex boyfriend chose me over you. HAAA! BURN!
And now, what are you trying to do...?
become close to all MY friends to make me jealous.
FAT CHANCE

The saying goes "If you give someone enough rope, they will eventually hang themselves"

So, you want to play the game.. FINE let's play the game. But the funny thing is, is that you ACTUALLY think people like you.
The people you are fighting for attention from KNOW what you're really like. ( lol ).

ahhh. sighs of relief.


yours always
the inexperienced blogger
ash

x

Liberated.

i ripped up the pictures of you.
slowly and enjoyably.
you are now in my bin.



in a million different pieces.

It's times like these when i can look back, and give myself a pat on the shoulder.
I do this knowing that i have made the best decision... no, the RIGHT decision.

They may have the lamest jokes ever or like particular Justin Biebers'.
But they are my friends and they put a smile on my face.

Here's to a long friendship.
the inexperienced blogger
ash
x

Reality is way overrated.
Back to reality
equals
back to expectations, stress, pressure, drama.

I like forgetting.
Getting lost in the moment.
Being found in the middle of a random thought.

I like imagining a perfect me.
Mapping out my whole life.
Yup, i can see it right now

But as for now, reality is here
and so i must deal with it.
Deal with you.

Reality to me
is like a confined space.
not much to do
no where to move
reality is the only choice


someone get me out of this space

hello Mr Tony Bianco.
I will be seeing you in a few weeks :)

It has officially been concluded, that swearing makes for good reading :)
(you are good for something... i knew i hated you for a reason)

y o u

I love that you make me smile
Yet i hate how you are the first to bring me to tears

I love looking forward to seeing you
Yet when i do, you never have much to say

I love that you call me 'ashy'
Yet i hate when you go through periods of not talking to me

Are you really worth it?
I'm telling myself you are

Am i being ignorant?
I'm telling myself it's for real

I want you to make half the effort that I'm making for you.
Can't you see that?
Is that too much to ask?

Why can you not see it?
Can you make up your mind so i know what to do!
i hate the fact that I'm relying on your feelings.

please hurry, the heart can only wait so long

the inexperienced blogger
ash
x

If there is one thing i loathe MORE than eggs, it would have to be one worded text messages.
Thanks

inspired

hypocrisy

i hate you. Completely and wholly. You are so immature, yet you accuse ME of being immature. Get over yourself! I don;t understand what gives YOU the right to think that you can tell others who they can and cannot talk to! Are you kidding yourself? Honestly! Do you really think you are that superior to everyone else? That you and your "friends" go around thinking they can mock anyone they like. Does that really make yourself feel good? Well, by all means, be my guest. Mock me all you like, because i know that you are really insecure . i bet you feel REAL good about yourself now hey. Do you think you are mad or/and fully sick cuz? Here's a little brutal honesty on my behalf, YOU'RE NOT.

Wanna hear another harsh reality, you have NO control over me. You are losing all your power. Wanna know why because people are realising what you are really like. And same to the majority of your obnoxious little posse of "friends". Let me break her little circle of love down for all the readers. There are four in the group.
1. Queen Bee. Sits on her almighty throne, expecting everyone to come begging on their knee's for her much sought mercy.
2. The Backstabber. The one you think you can share all your secrets to. She is nice to your face and while around others, but generally thinks her shit don't stink.
3. The Big Ol' Pussy. Shit talker, thinks they are super awesome. The typical pussy is most dominant when in a group or on the internet.
4. The nice one. Enough said.

So, keep death staring me, keep calling me immature, keep on telling people they can't talk to me and by all means, keep on bitching about me. . I am officially voting you the biggest Mean Girl of the school. Congrats, here is all the glory you ever wanted, and it will be the only glory you will ever get.

(In all the years we were supposedly best friends - you never once gave me a compliment or were truly happy for me when I achieved awards etc. You hurt me many times and I was always there for you and proud of your achievements and it was never reciprocated. If you are truly honest with yourself - you know how you treated me and how you allowed the others come between us and destroy our friendship. But you took their side and that was the most hurtful thing ever; a few years of their friendship was more important than the bond we shared. You know I tried to talk to you many times but you refused and you lied to your mum. If we are truly honest with ourselves; only we know what happened and I can sleep at night with a clear conscience. This is a hard life lesson to learn and it cost us a great friendship which could have lasted for eternity. I hope you are happy with your new friends and life.
You are a Hypocrite.


The inexperienced blogger,
ash
x

Nothing gives me greater joy, then crossing things off my To- Do list...
ahhh, it makes me so happy

abstinence is the key people

Life sans facebook.
I'm not going to lie... It's been tough. I kind of feel dislocated from society.
When you're on facebook, you don't need to wonder what people are thinking because you can physically see what they are thinking. Most of the time.
Haven't really noticed til now how dependent i was on it. Good ol' FB, as these 'youngsters' refer to it as. Those so called "five" minutes of just "checking your notifications" magically turn into the shortest 3 hours of your life.
So far, not too many withdrawals, the occasional incident where people have said "i'll link you on facebook". I reluctantly reply "i no longer have facebook" *crying on the inside*

The reactions are generally the same too.

But yes yes readers. I shall keep you up to date on my life without facebook. Lucky i have blogging to fill that void of procrastination. Yikes! To think that i may have had to ACTUALLY do schoolwork! (jokes),
But this may seem like i am defeating the purpose of abstaining from facebook, but at least blogging is somewhat intellectually stimulating. Facebook is for the brain-dead. I love it!

Yours without facebook,
the inexperienced blogger
ash

x

christmas in may

nothing say's Christmas like an ice-cream with old people

note to self

- People are not as reliable as initially thought. For the future, don't entirely rely on one person.
- MUST tell work when i am unavailable to work BEFORE i get my shifts.
- Must lay off the cheesecake for a while. Do not want cellulite...
- THINK BEFORE I SPEAK. This will be a tough one... instead of just verbally translating what my mind is saying, first, perhaps, think about what my mind said, give it time to generate it, then IF the comment is safe/ non offensive, proceed to open mouth and let words come out.
- Ashleigh girl, you will fail school if you do not stop blogging! The whole point of a facebook block was to keep my procrastination to a minimum.... You know you're a committed procrastinator when you get someone to block your facebook in attempt to complete assessments/ limit procrastination, THEN find alternative sources of procrastination i.e blogging. (get your head in the game ashleigh! CHRIST!!!)
- And finally, ashleigh, you MUST believe the facts. The raw information in front of your face! You can't keep believeing what you WANT to believe. Sometimes, other people are more trustworthy... thankyou j.cam for enlightening me

yours talking herself,
the inexperienced blogger
ash
x

it's a well known fact

that some of our most critical and even crucial thinking is done in the shower, Or in my case today, when i was in the passenger seat of the family car. Along with several other things, one thought was most prominent.

What someone else SEE'S
and what you FEEL

will result in two completely different stories. Complete polar opposites.. I'm 100% sure of this.

For example, I'm going to bring up my past here, but me leaving my group.
For me: i felt excluded and as though it was necessary for me to make such a move. Only I knew what I was experiencing.
For them: They saw that i left the group and didn't understand my reasoning behind it. They only saw me in the wrong because what they saw was me leaving the group.

Quite a complex theory to grasp... but it makes sense... for me anyways.
It's a perspective thing... we all do it...
We will look at someone and make up wild stories in our minds when it may be a completely different story altogether.


yours in different shoes.
the inexperienced blogger
ash
x

i should get that checked out...

I've got this fire in my belly... no, not indigestion. Ambition

I've got this voice in my head... no, not insanity. Will power

I've got this rash on my elbow.. jokes lol

yours randomly,
the inexperienced blogger
ash
x

In relation to my stomach, there is a universal question which puzzles many...

Will i ever be full?

i think not

amused

There is one thing that has constantly been on my mind lately.
It starts with a 'T' and ends with an 'IME'. For all the invalids out there, it is TIME.
It just seems to be always on my mind... Not sure if is just because i currently have 4 unfinished assessments and i am currently procrastinating. But oh well, it's still on my mind.
Just imagine... if we had one additional hour every day.
Well, firstly, there would be another 6.083 (recurring) days each year (yes, i really did use my calculator... crucify me!)
Not ONLY that, but if you really look at it, that's a further 365 hours every year!
With this in mind, you may be thinking one of two things really;
1) Holy Moses! she is SO right!
To this i say thankyou for sharing my abnormal thinking pattern...
2) she is one bored child!
To this i say, i CONCUR! i really have no life/ anything better to do with my time ( 4 assessments, 4 assessments, 4 assessments)

Did someone say '4 assessments'?
Nope, okay... i shall continue to procrastinate

Well, since my procrastination is running SO smoothly, i would like to submit the latest edition to my 'inexperienced opinion' section.

INEXPERIENCED OPINION:

Vanity

My main focus is obviously the female population. It is safe to say that we are ALL somewhat vain. Some more that others. It is this sector of the population which, well, just piss me off. Okay, yeah, i get it...you want to be thin. But CHRIST! If you feel like a pizza with extra bacon, then take your tooshie down to Domino's and GET that pizza with extra bacon!
Along with this obsession, to say the least, with appearance, comes the competitiveness of it all.
Fuck. Me. Dead.
Do NOT, i repeat, DO NOT compare yourself to someone else, then set the goal of "beating" that person. What a FUN game.
Let's see who can beat the skinny one...oooh
I would just like to say, finally, that we are ALL different. And in no way is it acceptable for a person to lose weight to be better than someone, then gloat about it. What does it prove? That you won't eat that pizza? Well, that's just no fun then!


Yours with extra cheese,
the inexperienced blogger
ash
x

Or, you can just not reply. That's cool too.

There comes a point in time

where you question why things even began in the first place. This war has no real cause, no real catalyst, it's just a hormone fueled battle of pride and insecurity. Let me fill my readers in about the worst of the female species, because it can be no walk in the park. Here is a complimentary checklist for everyone to successfully identify an 'expletive' of a person.
a) Possessiveness.
Surprise Surprise here. The worst of the worst females are possessive. Talking to Ex-boyfriends are strictly OFF LIMITS. lord help us all if you walk with an ex-boyfriend.

b) Jealousy
Quite self explanatory. In saying this though, it goes hand in hand with insecurity.

c) Manipulative Tendencies
If a person has the ability to grow a secret cult overnight who coincidentally hate you, then they would be classified as a Type A: manipulative bitch

d) Selfishness
What is a bitch's favourite type of fish? Why, the SELfish of course! (hardy har har)
One just isn't good enough for these females. Haven't you heard? THREE is a magic number, not ONE. So, therefore, despite the fact that they have a boyfriend, they continually flirt with innocent bystanders.

If you mentally ticked two or more of the above characteristics, i strongly suggest running away as soon as you can. Perhaps start now...

yours expletive-ly
the inexperienced blogger
ash
x

Arctic Monkeys - Fluorescent Adolescent

Just because you don't like it
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.
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.
.
.
.
.
.
.

I'm gonna do it

knight in shining armour?

Let's get real here people. This concept of our perfect man, well it just is NOT realistic. He does not wear shining Armour, instead, he wears a pair of skinny leg jeans and thongs. He is rather a mythical creature of whom we (we, being the female collective) create in our minds, when in actual fact, all men are the same. Same needs. And i think we all know what these needs consist of. So, just to dampen up the day, i will bust a few balls (pun intended) about the myths regarding this foreign and unknown species.

MYTH ONE:
Boys can change.
ahh yes, we all love this one. But it is a big fat myth. If you are a male reader i suggest you select the "next blog" icon located in the top left hand side... content may be offensive. Well, to many females disappointment, men will NOT change. they are who they are and are generally HAPPY with who they are. I doubt they will appreciate a female coming into their lives trying to change their extremely annoying and unnecessary habits.

MYTH TWO:
Boys have balls.
Yes, yes...before all the boys get defensive, i'm sure you have them. But i'm thinking more along the lines of...confessions. Boy's just lack some big ass balls in that department. If you like a girl, JUST TELL HER! and no, this is in no way related to a certain boy NOT confessing his feelings for me. But, kudos to all the guys that DO confess their undying love for a girl, even if they are just random lebo's that walk past baker's delight... good on 'em for having some balls.

MYTH THREE:
Boys like a girl that dresses up.
Lies! He doesn't even notice if you're wearing makeup or not. You could pick your outfit while sleeping and he probably would pay the same amount of attention as if you'd picked it out conscious. I'm not saying that guys don't care how we look, i just think they don't pay attention to detail.

So for the time being, these myths have been busted.
And guys, this is in no way a personal attack, because i'm SURE that the girls are just as bad!

yours always
the inexperienced blogger
ash
x

Revelation!

colour me happy

The paint theory

Before anyone judges me/thinks weird-ly of me, let me explain the reasoning behind this theory. I would also like to note that this theory is in no way plausible nor relevant, just another spontaneous and inappropriate blog about mumbo jumbo.
Okay, so the reason this "theory" came about was... well... to be honest, i saw a picture of paint.

My mind did the rest.

The paint theory goes like so...
1. Life is like a bucket of paint; it's mostly wet, but it will eventually dry
2. Life is like a bucket of paint; Sometimes the bucket is half empty, other times it's half full
3. Life is like a bucket of paint; You get the occasional lump or two
4. Life is like a bucket of paint; Sometimes it needs a good stir
5. Life is like a bucket of paint; It can be any colour you choose

Paint your life.

the inexperienced blogger,
ash
x

(aaarrrrrrggggggghhhh!!!!!)

you might not think anything of it, but it made my day

synonyms

syn·o·nym

–noun1.
a word having the same or nearly the same meaning as another in the language

Lets begin with a word;
pathetic
worthless
inferior
wretched
vile
foul
nasty
loathsome

YOU

Seriously, BABE, get over yourself.

"keep talking shit about me.. i love being the highlight of your life"

ummmm, do you think you're awesome or something? Babe, you are NOT the highlight of my life. You are the dirt on my shoe.

.
.
,

The inexperienced blogger
ash
x

yeah, sure

You COULD play monopoly. Or, there's always Snakes and Ladders. But i know your favorite game. It's called 'Ashleigh'.
No dice involved, No cards or chess pieces. Just you and me.
Here are the rules of the game. It's very simple... there are only TWO key rules:

1. You must profess your feelings towards Ashleigh.
2. Once this is complete, you must ignore Ashleigh.

Sounds like one hell of a game doesn't it.
.
.
.
.
We'll see who wins this game buddy.

the inexperienced blogger,
ash
x