I could be standing on the shadow of your ghost.

At times you may feel that circumstances have boxed you in, but you may later see those very circumstances prevented you from making some risky, impulsive moves that were ultimately not good for you.

- Russh horoscope

It is a truth universally acknowledged,

that we want the things that;

a) we can't have

&

b) we shouldn't have

It are these characteristics which make such objects even more desirable.

Objects, or people.

Yours always,
-A-

b l u r r e d

We all are...

Decipher

There are times when my words desire liberation from my lips. When there is a fire dwelling in the back of my throat; a passion, deep and true, residing within me. When my tongue starts to roll, shaping words, but knowing that some things can never be said. Where words are not enough and thoughts are trapped by steel promises.

These are my unspoken words.

-A-

I've never really wanted to be perfect

I'm not really anything special, unlike some people. No real interests or passions, no direction of where i'm heading or want to head. I'm just living and breathing and making the most of my time here on this lonely planet.

Perfect is unattainable. We all have flaws, the difference between humankind and those who think they are perfect is their ability to accept who they are. Learn to love the flaws and all the little imperfections.
I look at you and to many you seem perfect.
But to me you seem insecure.
Your fixation on self image, exterior appearances and the public's perception of you does not make you perfect.

I'm content being a misfit amongst a generic bunch. My life isn't perfect, it's far from perfect.

But you know what... I wouldn't have it any other way.

Yours imperfectly,
-A-

YES

Behind every refusal, lurks a little demon of defiance.

Patiently,
Silently
and ever so carefully
waiting for the perfect opportunity.
The perfect act.
The perfect way to produce a violent wave of rage and fury.

It waits.
With every 'no', it grows stronger.
It becomes bigger.

It's an anxious little creature, feeding off pain, heartache and denial.

And as the sphere of hopes, of dreams and of desires, slowly gets crushed with refusal, the hopes, the dreams and the desires of the demon's defiance soar.

It will have it's day.

-A-

bland

Feeling so uninspired.
Nothing to blog about.
Life is passing by
while I just sit here
and try to force something
decent out of myself.
Ta-da

-A-

W h y so serious?

Just goes to show that there's so much more to life than all this unnecessary bullshit.
Like dressing up as taco's.


-A-

I should write a book

I am filled with so much anger at the moment and I can't really put my finger on the main source of all my frustration. There's really been a series of unfortunate events which have acted as the catalyst for my unpredictable and ultimately bitchy moodswings and outbreaks.

I want to scream.

-A-

I am my own enemy.

I say to myself, Ashleigh, babe, don't be a bitch. Just be nice, remain calm and stay classy.

But when this internal pact is poked and prodded by narcissistic assholes, it's hard, okay!

Like the fact that you can't see what you've done is wrong.
Or the fact that some pretentious willy, who, lets face it, has some serious deep rooted self confidence problems, is resurfacing some unwanted rumors, when I have NEVER done anything wrong.

Don't expect a "let's catch up" from me.

And regroup... sigh

-A-

In my red box.

I was a disturbed child. But this makes me laugh 100% :)

Loveing from,
-A-

(HAHAHA... Nostalgia)

mmmm...pie

Watched the ARIA's tonight... I must say, I was a little disappointed. Not only did the hosts do a pretty crappy job, considering I only knew half of them, but their attempts to "rev" up the audience were somewhat pathetic. I did feel a little bad for some of the socially awkward* celebs and muso's (i.e: Lara Bingle, who should stick to modelling and Angus & Julia Stone, who were amazing, but had eaten too much humble pie).

My favourite performances were Washington, Birds of Tokyo (who sounded AMAZING live), Angus & Julia Stone (although the xylophone got to me after a while) and Guy Sabastian (who sang AWESOME, although his eyebrows still scare me a little... but he was still wow!)

One day I might go to the ARAIA's...

-A-

note*- I have also decided that I am a very socially awkward human being too. Many people just don't get me...

c r a z e ? d a z e ? h a z e ?

Something strange is happening to me.
Males are swarming! And i'm not saying this to sound like a complete snob, but i'm just shocked. Genuinely gobsmacked.

Considering i spoke to you one time, i'm sure you're a nice guy and all, but chill bill! And now you're telling me that when I want to reply to your messages, I can use facebook if I'm over my cap... insinuating that your messaging me will be a recurring habit?!

I'm really sorry that I'm sounding like a selfish brat, but I'm just saying... some space to breathe?

I may possibly stay single for a very long time.

-A-

introvert

My compilation of the top 'however many' things piss me off:

1. One word text messages.
Yes J.N I'm talking about you! "HAHA" is not even a sentence. It's not even a freaking word! Completely invalid. Chances are you're not even laughing, and why would you be? I didn't even say anything funny! "haha" is the worst gap filler. It's unnecessary. Save yourself 25cents.

2. Double standards.
Rage, anger.

3. Ears popping.
Please, please, for the love of god, please stop popping! It feels like an invasion of headspace.

4. Sleaze-bags, man-whores and cheaters.
Like those who feel sorry for you because, for some god forsaken reason, they think that YOUR life can no longer go on anymore without them. Like YOU'RE absolutely devastated-ly heartbroken that they didn't choose you. Like YOUR whole entire life depends on them.
WRONG! You're sounding arrogant and pompous, so stop treating me as an inferior(and we all know it's the opposite). I am perfectly happy the way I am, nor do i need your sympathy/pity. My life doesn't revolve around you. Never has and never will. You ain't that special, lovey.

5. Being broke.
Need.
Money.
Now!

6. People that beep their horns whilst you are exercising.
This is sleazy, not to mention pointless. Really, what is tooting a horn trying to prove, if not that you are a complete a-hole who has nothing better to do with their time? And really, what is so attractive about a person running? Sweating like a pig and wearing trackies and joggers? Whatever floats your boat. And this message similarly extends to the old men who cock their heads/ stare at you as they drive past. Eyes on the road! Didn't you watch Packed to the Rafters! This shit kills people! Yes old man, I'm talking to you.

7. Mirrors.
Do we really need mirrors coming from all angles in bathrooms/ dressing rooms? It's depressing.

-A-