not you TOO *sigh*

and here i was thinking that you would always be there for me. Or that's what you always told ME anyway. All week we talked constantly. Now... nothing.

has SHE told you to stop talking to me?
has SHE lied to you?

why are you so quick to believe a liar?

you tell me you know what she's like, her jealousies and insecurities

yet you fear her?
you fear her knowing what was said or done.


how can a person like this persuade you so?

i thought you were smarter than that. Obviously you proved me wrong




She's not even worth it




yours ignored,
the inexperienced blogger
ash
x

you can take that happy birthday

30th March.
4 birthdays.
3 facebook messages.


and yes i mean you.



for those who made my day that little bit special :D THANKYOUUUUUU



yours seventeen-ly
the inexperienced blogger
ash
x

yours wrongly,
the inexperienced blogger
ash

x

a vicious cycle

Life. Yes, we all love it. But when you think about it... there is so much unnecessary 'shit' that happens. Things that you don't need.

Each day really is NOT that significant. In comparison to your life... one day is minuscule! And yet we, as students, exert so much time and energy on trying to get a great mark, which in the big scheme of things, really does not matter!

Do you, or do you not only live once?
Well, for all the non-Buddhists, the answer is ONCE!

So we study to get a good assessment mark and we study MORE for our HSC which will give us our ATAR (A magic number which determines our future). Once we have this winning number, we go off for some MORE study... average of 4 years. Once we study for 4 or so years, we go to work....
We work until we are 50, then retire.
By that age, we are TOO god damn old to do anything fun without needing a hip replacement!

Is life passing us by? Are we confusing the important things in life, with what we THINK is important?
And don't get me wrong, money is important. But i just think that we should just take the time once in a while to slow things down... to take time to 'smell the roses' so to speak.
Time isn't stopping NOR rewinding...




yours studiously,
the inexperienced blogger
ash
x

they say 'time heals everything'

well i'm still waiting

the 'average' person

This is the only instance where i can say that I am above average!
If you're currently thinking to yourself, 'what the hell is she on?', then have no fear, for your questions (or lack of questions) are yet to be answered.

the "average" person would normally write, say... 4 blogs a week.
But I, a representative of the above average collective, will write a minimum of 2 a day.

The "average" person would also write about something of consequence
Yet my blogs revolve around pure brain dribble. (for all non-retards, this means i just type as i think... about everything under the sun really)

Re-iterating my point, this blog served no purpose whatsoever, and did not help me (or anyone) achieve anything in life... hence why i am so above average


yours originally (you thought i was going to say 'yours averagely' didn't you! another reason why i am so un-average )
the inexperienced blogger
ash
x

nothing is impossible

my personal bucket list

I have been deliberating whether or not to write my own bucket list for a while. I figured that if i kept making mental notes, with my brain capacity, i would forget in, say... 35minutes. So here it is, i will continually revise it whenever i think of something new. But as of the 18th of March, 2010, here is my personal bucket list (things to do before i die)

1. Learn how to play the guitar and piano
2. Go skydiving
3. Travel the world
4. Have a garage sale
5. Internet shop
6. Get drunk
7.Work for a magazine
8. learn how to dance
9. speak french
10. get acrylic nails
11. cut my hair- Rhianna style!
12. climb the Harbour bridge
13. live overseas
14. ride in a helicopter
15. become a volunteer in Cambodia
16. Volunteer in a children's hospital

So, clearly, i will be working for the rest of my life.
Some things are minor, but the majority require a whole lot of cash.

yours hopefully.
the inexperienced blogger
ash
x

they call it 'paranoia'

Should i let this fear... this "paranoia" keep me from doing what i like or what i want?


I will leave this case open and unresolved.

call me crazy,

but i feel like making a magazine...
So finally, my English is finished (cheering on the inside), and homework in underway (not so much cheering going on now).

so yeah.

I feel like i'm back to my days of not knowing what to blog about... it feels weird to be quite frank with you all.
Can you believe it. Now that these people are out of my life, i have NOTHING to blog about.
so they WERE good for something. They provided fabulous bitching material for the world to see!

Well at least i know now that if all else fails, they will come in handy. Just whip out a few "f words" here and there and life will go on :)


well. for my EXCESSIVE amount of readers (yes i'm talking to the whole 4 of you), my page has changed a little... but it's still me :) i swear!


yours speechlessly,
the inexperienced blogger,
ash
x

the inexperienced blogger's seven stages of self improvement

The thing is, WILL i stick to them? If not, it is written for ALL the world to see, so feel free to try any of these yourself :)
It is not necessarily physical things to improve, but even things that will make you feel good as a person!


i will start off basic:

1. grow and paint my nails.
growing- check
painting- check.... a lovely navy blue


2. straighten my hair.
Although i regrettably cut my hair, it makes me feel good when my hair is straight and silk smooth.

3. Buy myself new clothes,
dress... check
earrings... check

they are sexy, if i might add :D

4. Write a to-do list.
love them! they make me feel organised an in control!
Nothing beats the satisfaction of ticking off something that has just been achieved!
For example. My English feature article SHOULD have and COULD have been crossed off by now, but due to unnecessary procrastination, this cross-age may have had to be delayed a couple days

5. Washing your face
Call me crazy, but it feels so good!!!!
I feel un-masked and CLEAN!
it's incredible.... If you are NOT doing this, i recommend it. Not just to achieve self improvement, but for hygiene purposes too.

6. Talking to someone you haven't
Self explanatory... it makes you feel better about yourself!

7. blogging.
With this final point, i would like to add in SLEEPING also.
Blogging is just incredible.
and Sleeping is just... AMAZING!

By not following, does not mean that you are a bad person... it just simply means that you are a slack bastard...
no hard feelings eh?

yours undergoing improvement,
the inexperienced blogger
ash
x

not sure?

a last minute blog.
Here are some things that i'm not so sure about:
- what i did
- what i said
- why you reacted like that
- why you didnt respond normally
- why you wonder these things to yourself
- what i didnt apologise for
- did i offend you
- why didnt you accept my apology
-when did i even do that?

so many things running through my mind right now... yet i'm too sleep deprived to even begin answering any of them.

And yes. i will blog about these insignificant and unimportant minor events in my life. Because i can. And i will!

I will answer these at a later date, but for the time being, i want a fluffy pillow!

yours in deprivation.
the inexperienced blogger,
ash
x

8 girls, 7 bags of lollies, 6 cans of coke, 5 cameras flashing, 4 bunk beds, 3 mattresses, 2 days, 1 love;

they call this an equation for sleep deprivation and excessive sugar intake.
i call it a perfect equation for friendship :)

love,
the inexperienced blogger
ash
x

i know you're right

but i'm scared.

I know you've had the same experiences in the past.
but i'm scared.

i hate causing arguments and bitchiness, which hasn't really been the case lately, but i dunno....
i guess i don't really know what to say.
thankyou?... yeah i think thankyou covers it.

You've helped me alot. You've shed light and have been nothing but honest with me :(


i feel... hypocritical almost...


i'm scared because it's not in my character to do that... and as much as i want to, i can't bring myself to do it... i know what the consequences will be...

i wish i had the balls like you!!

i'm sorry!


yours apologetically,
the inexperienced blogger
ash
x

the inexperienced blogger's thoughts in ten short lines.

1. Man I'm tired... i should really sleep, but staying up until 1am and having 5.5hours sleep seems more logical... right?

2. I'm kinda hungry. And there are cheese and bacon rolls a few meters away from me. It's tempting...

3. I SHOULD do my homework... but i get to school early enough to finish it. I just hope i don't forget my calculator again.

4. I really should moisturize my skin... it feels kind of.. dry-ish

5. After talking about my dry skin... i thought of the word 'Pasty' ... and i laughed out loud

6. My English assessment is haunting me... it's literally sitting right next to me... acting all innocent. pfft!

7. I should really punch you in the face for what you did to me today.

8. I should really punch you in the face TOMORROW also!

9. I really need to yell at you. I have my speech all mentally prepared... i shall OWN YOU!

10. i am so lucky to have such great friends... aka: real friends. Who i know i can trust with my life!!!! I WILL live my life with no regrets... and leaving that 'group' was the best thing I've ever done :D



yours in thought
the inexperienced blogger,
ash
x

a little thing called life

and i'm kind of loving it at the moment!



Mere silhouettes, continually fading in the back of my mind... nearly forgotten. And so you should be! These past few weeks have been hell and a half! Things ARE looking positive though :)

i just found this quote...

"Friendship isn't about whom you have known the longest... It's about who came, and never left your side".

this quote epitomises my exact feelings...

anywho, not much has been happening in the life of me. No more 'debacles'... Although i AM struggling to keep my lentern promise... it's not my fault i bite my nails when i'm stressed out!!!!

Well, for all my MANY avid readers, the small handfull of you know who you are., it is my big SEVENteenth birthday in approx. 29 days... hoorah for me! not sure what i want yet... but i will definitely let you all know!

Just noting also, that my blogs have been rather boring lately... what can i say! It's not everyday that a south park reality moment pops up... or even a sporadic lemon tree plantation begins growing in your backyard. But i will make sure you're all first to know when something that exciting happens. But for the meantime, you will have to read my blogs in silence and ponder on my meaningless rants about absolutely nothing at all. Yes, you HAVE to read it. you have no choice AT ALL! muahahah.
okay, i will stop the evil laugh and leave you to ponder...

ponder away now little ones...

yours ponderingly,
the inexperienced blogger,
ash
x