sans

Not gonna lie.

Life sans phone= PAINFUL

and the boys

And there´s gold falling from the ceiling of this world

falling from the heartbeat of this girl

falling from the things we should have learned

falling from the things we could have heard

9:26 pm

Today you handed me a letter, written on a torn page.
Written in pink.
In your handwritting.
You asked how i was going, even though i was sitting right near you.
I said i was good thankyou.

Your words told me that you were advised by a friend
to tell me how you feel.
You told me you liked me
had feelings for me
But you know i don't feel the same.

You asked for a chance
Only one

You messaged me
You said you were pained
Ended with x's and o's




I don't want this.

I ignored.

cue dramatic sound effects

soul searching

I have come to the conclusion that:
a) Nothing good ever lasts
and
b) Once these "good things" tragically end, and although it might seem devestating at the time, they can be heartlessly and easily replaced.

I have always known that good things always end. Both from my own personal experience, and witnessing others experiences too. Generally have something to do with guy dilemma's and all that shiz nit. It's a real shame.

For my second conclusion, i'm a little uncertain about how i'm truly feeling. Well, my thoughts first arose after watching the news and hearing that Glen Mc Grath is re-marrying.
Random, because i hate cricket. But, i knew enough about him to know that his wife died only a few short years ago.
I think, and i do mean i think, I was a little outraged.
I mean, come on man.
Your wife died. This one woman in the whole world who you supposedly loved. I mean, isn't love supposed to be with ONE person? Is it possible to have TWO soul mates? gah! I feel like i've been lied to my whole life!

Can love be replaced?
I mean, can it?!


I'm confused

pow.

Even the independent want to fall in love.

Over the past year, i have become quite fond of the rain. I think it's the irregular pittering against our pagola.
I find it oddly soothing, although noisy tonight, it's making me feel relaxed... and i'm not sure why... hrmmm

Imagine free-falling from the skies.

Blogging without a cause

Was just thinking... Does everything I blog about need to be insightful/ helpful/ philosophical/ useful/ meaningful is any way, shape or form? I'm sick of writing with a motive.

And, just putting it out there, English teachers (at Catholic schools) need to harden up!




Unlikely.

Un-healthily stressing.

Will I? Can I? Do I? Should I?

The end of so much more.

End of freedom.
Or a year 12 version of freedom. But whatever, i'll take what i can get.
So in aprroxiamately 1 hour and 50-ish minutes, my freedom will be ripped from me, and i will be back to Bonnyrigg's public hell hole. Snaps for Ashleigh...

So, how does one spend their last day of holidays?
If you were smart, you would take it easy. Eat a bit, sleep a bit, watch a couple movies. Basically ENJOY your last day to bludge guilt free.
But me, i shall be the representative of the minority known as the 'douches'.
No, i did not sleep in. I worked.. but yes, i did eat (of course), and a little nana nap, purely for procrastination purposes only. But, i finally decided at 5pm that i should start my homework. Yes, i am that person who has 2 weeks to finish their homework, but chooses to complete it on the last day. I tell myself the pressure makes me motivated.. hmm.
Naively, i under budget for time, leaving this blog approxiamately 2.5 hours behind schedule. Way to start the term Ash.
Anyways, considering i have not blogged for an exaggerated 10 years, i will fill in my handful of readers about my not-so-holiday, holiday. Actually, to save everyone some time, i'll sum it up in a few key words.
School
Food
Work
Study
Something that should have taken 5 minutes to describe, has just been done in 4 simple words.
I know what you're thinking, gosh Ashleigh, you are SO lucky to have such awesomely awesome holidays. Well, let me just say, i know right!
But, somehow in between my almost life, i managed to squeeze in one movie and a shopping trip. So, i guess my holidays were epic... in conjunction with a few other words... take it as you please.
And, like any other holiday, i have unintentionally gone over my phone cap... AGAIN. I am actually quite anxious for this one... Oh well, shit happens. Just thought i'd subtly throw this in here too, I now own Amy Meredith's album, which just happens to be signed by 3 of the 5 band members.

So, final hour of freedom. I am going to squeeze the life out of the little sucker, facebook to my hearts content, chat all night long, and be nice and tired for the morning.


And so, school begins.

Welcome back to purgatory motherfuckers.

Breakfast at Tiffany's anyone?

Wow oh wow I love Audrey Hepburn

Despite my series of short compilations of utter ramblings

I have decided to tell the world about a particular revelation which has been playing on my mind for some time now...
Well, me being a type A teenager, this blog is yet again about boys

(far out Ashleigh, get some better blogging material!!!!!!)

No, this is not about how much i like/love/miss/hate the entire male species, rather this is me being at peace with our polar opposite worlds.

A wise friend once told me, that males are really not that complicated. It is us females which MAKE everything so complicated...

Admittedly, he may be somewhat correct. We do have certain tendencies to over analyse situations, seeing them to be SOMETHING, when realistically, the guy just looked at you...
But, anyways, this is not the point of my blog. My point was... right NOW, i don't need a guy. I just don't want one, nor do i need one. Yeah, cool, we can be friends... but that is enough for me.... Some may think of me as a little hypocritical, an maybe i am, but this is simply my revelation.

I know someone who depends on guys. Her aim: ATTENTION. If a male is not looking in her direction, complimenting her, or professing their undying love to her, she will resort to such measures as acting stupid. This makes me sick. She is THAT needy, that she has no comcept of male friends. They are either acquaintances, or hook ups. There is no grey area.... no in between. Quite sad really, considering that besides my best friends, some of my closest friends are males.
But hey, it's her prerogative

But yes, yes. I am in year 12, i work 2 jobs, I study... a male in the picture is just not gonna be happening anytime soon.

Well, speaking of work... i start in 8 hours.

Yours always,
the inexperienced blogger
ash
x

little inspiration

I'm sick of writing blogs, then backspacing them when i'm half way.. God dammit Ashleigh, why can't you do something properly for once!

Quick, post it! Before you backspace it!

solved

Life is as easy as;
"What do I want?"

living life at 200km/hr

Holidays? Is this what i am in? Or is it just a term given so that people have more time to run around? Because that's what it feels like. Like i have no substance in my life. Like i'm running

running

running

But never really moving from where I first began.
Like i'm not really "living" life, but rather sitting in the back seat watching it from a distance.
Oh, hey there opportunity... just missed you


I'm hoping life will begin after school. Or is life what i make of it now... ?

And here i am, answering questions with more questions.

I think time is to blame here.

I'm stuck in a rut and i can't get out!

y e a h

So, i've been meaning to post a list of some words that i like. These work are most likely associated with other words, some sexual connotations, others a tad more reformed. I've begun a list of all the words i hear which i like.
Try saying these wrds aloud... it's quite amusing... for like 5 minutes:

1. Crux
2. Jurisprudence
3. Embezzlement
4. Pebble
5. Badge
6. Bubble
The basic, central, or critical point or feature

2. Embezzle

3. Jurisprudence

the science or philosophy of law.

Other fun words are; pebble, bubble and badge


Well, happy reading everyone...
ash
x

reasons to be happy

family. friends. a home. money. clothes. work. food. music. laughter. talking. intellect. health. future prospects. stationary. blankets and pillows. movies. nonna. nonno. vision. sun. gloves. teachers. daydreaming. reading. picnics. putting outfits together. running into old friends. making new friends. freedom.

Yes, i love stationary.

"All of these things are reasons for living.

They are what make me happiest in my life."

Yours appreciatively,
the inexperienced blogger
ash
x